Men and Epilepsy

My diagnosis with epilepsy came in my mid-twenties as a result of a car accident. I was married and had an established career, when my doctor and neurologist broke the news to me after I had two seizures.

I was warned by my neurologist to be prepared for my life to change, and that people´s reactions would be totally different. I´m glad he prepared me for that because trust me, I saw it for myself. The biggest change was having to stop driving a car. My job involved driving so it was a big shock. Luckily, my company was able to switch me to a position in the office where driving was no longer required. But I did have to rely on my wife to drive me and that was difficult.

The diagnosis and what came with it affected my personal ego, and it was hard to accept. The hardest blow was that some of my friends and relatives left me in hurtful and dramatic fashions. Even now, friends and some family members will inquire: "how´s that thing you´ve got?" It´s still hurtful – why can´t people simply say "epilepsy"? Is it so horrible to call it by name?

I became embarrassed to tell people. I began taking a lot of tablets as part of my medication regime and didn´t want people to see me, so I hid in the men´s bathrooms when I had to take them. I was paranoid that if someone saw me they would probably think "this guy is on drugs."

When it came time for me to find a new job, I told them about my epilepsy in the interview. I had lingering doubts that they wouldn´t want someone like me, but how wrong I was. The company looked at my capabilities, not my disabilities, and for that I am grateful. Driving is not an issue for me now, because I´m lucky to live in a large city with wonderful public transit - if I can´t catch a train, then I just catch a bus, it´s simply no big deal.

I was diagnosed before my two daughters were born, and the only restriction the doctor gave me was to be careful holding babies, so I sat on the carpet and kept them safe in my arms. Today, my daughters know what to do if I have a seizure when we are out in public and deal with it well. Now, life couldn´t be better because I have 3 lovely women – my 2 daughters and wife- who are so supportive. Likewise, at work everyone knows I have epilepsy and to them I´m just another colleague, it´s no big deal! In fact, I was just nominated as being one of the "Best Workers of the Year."

Some men might think that not being self-sufficient would be admitting inferiority, but I proudly work together with my family. I am lucky that my wife is my true friend and I am always able to talk to her, on good and bad days. And trust me, the good days always make up for the bad ones! It absolutely helps to share and talk.

Even talking about your medication with your doctor will help prepare you for the side effects you might experience. Work with your doctor to help find the right treatment for you. I recommend finding a neurologist, rather than just seeing a general practitioner, so you can get the proper professional help. I feel that my doctor is my ally. He is always reminding me not to overdo it at work, because putting in too many hours can trigger seizures.

My advice is not to let epilepsy stop you from reaching your goals. Try to pick yourself up and carry on. Educate yourself so you won´t be alarmed about what may come. Look at me, before I was diagnosed, I was ignorant as to what epilepsy even meant but now I fully understand and even enjoy helping others. I am now so happy and confident that if society doesn´t want to accept me, then I know they are the ones with the problem and not me.